I Wanna Be
by JunebugPancakes
Summary: First person because I wanted to write something different. Based on a song, but nothing like it. Lando is acting strange. What could be troubling him? Young!Lando/Young!Hershel


The enthusiastic ginger obviously had something wrong with him today and I was dertermined to find out. What could be the cause of such a troubled look to be placed on his face? As he sat in his desk ajacent to mine, his chin rested on his hand and he was doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with me. A few times he ajusted his big, square glasses and I thought he might turn around and give me a smile and explain that he might just be tired, but to my certain dismay, he merely sighed and layed his head down over his books.

It just didn't make sense, being such a lively spirit, he should be busy throwing questions at the teacher about the Mask of Chaos or blowing through all of the classwork he was given, but instead he simply let the clock tick away while making every attempt in his ability to ignore me. A few times he even drifted off, only to have the teacher call him out to get him to listen. Sure, I would have alerted him myself a bit more quietly, but it was obvious he wanted nothing to do with me at the moment, though I wasn't sure why. Through the whole class period he did things like this- he doodled, sighed, layed his head down, stared blankly out the window- just what could be bothing him so much that he wasn't interested in archeology today? Whatever it was it had to be big.

Quietly as I could, but loud enough to hear, I whispered his name. It wasn't in my direct nature to not pay attention in class, however I was altohgether compleyely distracted by my best friend's behavior. As expected, the teen totally ignored me and continued to doodle. I whispered again, this time a bit louder, just in case he couldn't hear me. It wasn't surprising that he still blocked me out. Glancing up at the teacher to make sure he wasn't looking, I reached over and tapped his shoulder ever so slightly and summoned him a bit louder. Ignored. Alright, that made it clear- I wasn't in his interest today for some reason unbeknownst to me.

"Mister Layton, is there something you would like to share with the class?" the teacher inquired grumpily. My hand swiftly snapped back to my deak and I straightened up while my friend didn't even take the time to look up from his doodle.

"No, sir. My appologies for disrupting class," I replied with a very subtle crack in my voice. It frightened me a bit to have been called out, but Lando's reactions to my attempts to earn his attention were certainly informative. Something was definitly wrong with him and whatever it was, it had to do with me. It was my next decision to leave him alone the rest of class. He took that nicely and didn't make any attempt of his own to interact with me, but continued to scribble whatever it was he was so invested in down on a sheet of paper.

When the bell rang for class to be dismissed, Lando stayed seated, tapping his pen listlessly on the desk's golden wood. I packed my things in my bag, got up to bid the teacher goodbye until the next class, and went to leave. As I came to the archway standing as the room's exit, the glanced back over my shoulder to my best friend to find that he had gone from doodling to resting his head, facing the opposite direction of me. With a resigned sigh, I turned back around and left.

The halls of my school seemed almost empty without him bounding around at my side. It was funny, though I disliked archeology, it felt so odd to not hear it being forced onto me by my closest friend practically shouting it in my ear. My eyes were absentmindedly fixed on the floor and path ahead of me and for the first time in a long time, I felt alone. I could hear my footsteps over every other sound in the hall, they seemed louder than most of the students lockers and voices. What on Earth could have ailed him so? Out of every other class we had, archeology was his favourite and if anything, I expected him to be all over the place enjoying it. What could have him so disinterested?

The doors exiting the school were open by the time I got to them and my peers were flooding outside. Once I was able to make my way outside, I looked up at the top balcony expecting to see Angela. Maybe she held the explination to Lando's distress. Well, if she did, it didn't matter because she didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. I looked around at the rest of the campus, but she wasn't there either. I would go looking for her, but if she were anywhere, she'd be with Lando who wasn't exactly speaking with me at the moment. A great sigh left my throat and I continued to walk home, my venture feeling emptier than ever.

I got about halfway down the first hill when I heard my name being bellowed out so loud it shook me and possibly should have scared of any neighboring birds in the area.

"HERSHEL!" it rang. I turned around curiously to see who had sounded the alert and to much of my surprise, it was Lando, dasing towards me with a beaming grin on his face, his bag thrashing around behind him as he neared me. As soon as he reached me standpoint, the guy through an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug. "You were gonna leave without me~?" he chuckled.

If I didn't look like the most baffled person in the known universe to him, it would come as a great shock to me. My brow furrowd and mouth hung agape. Not fifteen minutes ago, he would have ignored me if I shouted through a megaphone into his ear, but now he was laughing and brimming with energy. What could have happened to him in such a minute amount of time is beyond me, but he was beside himself with joy at the moment which threw me totally off.

"...What is going on with you?" I muttered, not controling which thoughts escaped as words.

"What are you talking about, Hershel? I'm perfectly fine. Actually, I couldn't be happier!" he grinned, pulling me closer. I tugged his arm off from my shoulder and showed him a disapproving look.

"Would you mind exlaining to me the ignoring you were doing earlier, please?" My arms folded and I planted myself firmly in front of him. He wasn't going anywhere if I had any say in it.

"Oh..." he sighed, expressions dropping lower than the Mariana Trench was deep. Again, I was back to being totally in the dark about what his motives were.

"Is something wrong...?" I inquired, setting a concerned tone to my voice and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"...It's nothing," he returned, pushing my hand away and soving his hands in his pockets. Sad eyes stared down at the ground and I could feel that it most certainly wasn't nothing. I didn't wanna push, but I felt bad for him. Luckily, I didn't need to pry anything out of him. The guy was able to open up to me as he should, being my best friend. "It's just that... Well, me and Angela... We aren't together anymore..." He looked up at the endless blue sky that seemed to be hastily shading into the grey hue and sighed again. "...I ended it with her... Things just...didn't seem to be going like they used to and it was like we were going away from each other." His eyes turned back to mine and my jaw dropped. "'Course, that could have been my fault," he finished with a sad smile as looked down at his fist which he tightened just a bit. It was then that I took notice to a somewhat crumpled paper he was holding. A slight tilt in my head displayed my curiosity.

"I'm so sorry for you both. You had such a good relationship. It's a shame to have ended, but may I ask what it is you're toting along with you?" He held the paper up in his hand for me to take.

"Oh, heh, this is for you. You see, there's something I've been meaning to tell you all day, but I-...I simply couldn't gather the courage to break it to you." Confused, and a little worried, I accepted the paper and unruffled it. It was what appeared to be the paper he'd been doodling on all day. A few fossiles were drawn on it and the occasional artifact, but there was a message on it too. I can't begin to describe the shock that encompassed me with each word my eyes surveyed.

_Hershel, I don't know how to say this, so I'm going to write it. Perhaps that'll make things a bit easier... Okay, you see, I broke up with Angela last night. You might think that's what's wrong with me today, but it really isn't. Actually, that's not bothering me at all. We just really didn't seem to click. What's really getting to me is you. Everything about you. I know we've been friends for a while, man, but... I just... I just feel like I can confess to you. It's gonna be hard, but... Here it goes: If you're so concerned about me, then... I want you to answer me one thing-_

My heart nearly stopped beating the moment my eyes touched his final words.

_Will you go out with me?_

I looked up at him with astonishment so great, it would have knocked over a concrete wall. It wasn't like I was horrified, but I certainly wasn't expecting that. He was my best friend and this just came out of the blue with no warning whatsoever. He looked back at me with a hopeful smile, his hands clenched nervously deep in his pockets. Time passed and I couldn't squeeze a single word out, not even a sound, so he spoke up.

"I didn't know how to ask you in person, sorry, but imagine what things could be like, Hershel. You and me. Together." His expressions became a bit more happy and it only made me that much more speechless. What could I possibly say to this? I hadn't even expected it in the slightest! What had I done to catch his interest? Why would he be so sudden about this? Did he leave Angela for me? What's going on? So many questions and no time to think them over critically. Chaos engulfed my mind and I only continued to stand there frozen like a broken toy soldier. "Hershel... C'mon, man, say something."

"I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say your honest answer," he said, expressions dropping a bit again. Looking back down at the paper, I red over it at least three more times bfore sighing and folding it up. It found it's way to my pocket and I looked back up at him, a little forlorn.

"Lando, I can't." Any happiness that was on his face vanished instantaniously. He looked more wistful than than I probably did, his eyes cast back at the ground.

"Wait," He suddenly jerked his hands out of his pockets and grabbed mine, eyes fixed directly into mine as well. "Have you thought about it?"

"I-" His hands tightened a bit.

"Wait, really thought about it?" They loosened to the point where they were only gently touching my palms. "Maybe you should take some time and talk about it to someone." He stepped back and held our hands out together. I felt my cheeks get hot and flushed a bit. "I already made up my mind. I don't need any more time to know if I wanna be with you. I wanna be the last one you think about before you go to bed and the first one that you think about when you wake up. You're the greatest person I've ever known, Hershel, and I'm sorry for being so sudden with this, but you really are amazing. Just think about it." He was close to my face and squeezing my hands anxiously. It really hurt me to do this, but I have already thought about it- in the time he was explaining. It just couldn't happen. Even if I wanted to, it wouldn't be right. It would break what what ever was still left unbroken of Angela's heart and I would feel terribly guilty about it. Maybe Lando didn't realize it, but I did and it bothered me.

"I really ca-"

"Hershel, think about it. Think about how things could be! We would be closer than before and what's not great about that? C'mon, man, say yes...!" Before I could object, his lips were against mine. I froze again in bewilderment. Now, of all things, this was the least expected. Though, it didn't feel like it was forceful, it was gentle and sweet, like he was begging me to answer yes. I could tell, he was pleading with his last resort. I couldn't stop myself from returning it a little too, but before I gave him any ideas, I pushed away. This absolutly could not be, as much as I hated to decline.

"No means no, Lando. I'm sorry, but I can't do such a thing to Angela." I paused to study the languished look on his face. If he weren't so strong, I'd say he would have cried. "...Maybe sometime in the future, but now is simply not the time. You have my greatest appologies, but I must decline." The last thing I wanted was to see was the heartbroken face he made, so I quickly turned around and continued on my way back home, leaving him standing there in the center of the pathway. Normally, I wouldn't do that, but to see that look would have killed me and I really couldn't afford to be guilted into dating him.

It was better this way. He and I should just be friends, at least for now. Maybe sometime in the future, we can try to make things more, but presently, it's too soon after his break up with Angela to be with him. He's my best friend, of course I'm going to give him the benifit of the doubt as to if we can make something more of our current relationship, but in all truth, I do not feel as if that will happen. Not because of me and not because of Angela, but because of him. By then, he should have moved on or at least forgotten whatever the reason he had for fancying me in the first place was. If he didn't then it wasn't inconcievable that it might work. It was within the realm of possibility that we could be together as a couple. But would I want to be with him by then?

Probably.


End file.
